all you can ever learn is what you already know

50 ODD Things about you! (despite the fact that number 15 is eerily missing.)

1. How tall are you?
from the tallest man to the broadest shoulders.

2. Have you ever done heroin?
won't it be dull when we rid ourselves of all these demons haunting us to keep us company..?

3. Do you own a gun?
put death in my hand, learn to fight.

4. Do you recycle?
i take a breath, hold the air until there's nothing left. i'm feeling green, teenage lovers between sheets.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
it crushes my head, my brain is on the border; but this is just what the doctor ordered.

6. What do you think about hot dogs?
bet your bottom dollar you lose your blues in chicago.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
...i gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. this year, to save me from tears, i'll give it to someone special.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
cold water surrounds me now.

9. Can you do push ups?
i saw the gap again today while you were begging me to stay. better take care not to make me enter, 'cause if i do, we both may disappear.

10. Is your bathroom clean?
i'm coming clean, i've made up my mind. to lie would be to compromise, and i won't try.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry. whichever you prefer.

12. Do you like painkillers?
you knock me down, and i get up again. oh, pain, a remedy that can reach a sting. i'll keep holding, and i'll keep trying to feel this fight.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
green eyes, they're in this time. not afraid to try, not afraid to fail.

14. Do you have A.I.D.S.?
some of us wouldn't be lying if we said we were trying too hard. but, it all works out in the end. some of us would be trying too hard to begin lying, but.. it seems to all work out in the end.

16. Middle Name?
i've gone out of my way. big, blank slate everyday. big, blank canvas staring at me everyday.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
1. i'v got a funny feeling you don't want me around.
2. woke up, wished that i was dead. with an aching in my head, i lay motionless in bed. thought of you, and where you'd gone, and the world spins madly on.
3. i wish the sky would open, cause if there weren't those trees - i think i could see for miles.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
1. i once had a beautiful sandwich, it was made with fresh bologna.
2. i am a hookah, the water through which you pass.
3. it was dyed in the wool, it was set in stone.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1. cold water cleaning all my wounds.
2. bring me back to him.. cold water, bring me back to my senses.
3. sippin' this green tea, big fish in a small world.

20. Who is your hero?
there goes my hero, watch him as he goes. there goes my hero, he's ordinary. kudos my hero, leaving all the best.

21. Last person you called?
though she was born a long, long time ago, your mother should know.

22. Current worry?
i've said what i'd said and you know what i mean, but i still can't focus on anything.

23. Current hate?
i'm sorry for the person i became, i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. i'm ready to make sure i never become that way again, because who i am hates who i've been.

24. Favorite place to be?
woke up at eight, started a fire, had a few drinks, we all felt inspired. jumped in the stream, our shoes and canteens. the water is bitter cold, laid in the raft til it started moving. the current just sang, the song was so soothing.

25. How did you bring in the New Year?
this must be it, welcome to the new year. the drinks were consumed, the plants were destroyed and the hor'deurves dismantled. i'm not smiling behind this fake veneer. i am often interrupted or completely ignored. but most of all i'm bored.

26. Where would you like to go?
i'll find it anywhere but here, i'm heading anywhere but here.

27. Do you own slippers?
and soon the tides will change - the decision is at your feet. put your slippers on instead and live forever.

28. What shirt are you wearing?
and you shine all the buttons on your green shirt, you can please yourself but somebody's gunna get it.

29. Do you burn or tan?
oh, would you please get out from under my skin? cause i can't begin this yet, and i don't know what my intentions are. they're speaking in a different tongue. and, deep inside, i'm not as tough as i seem. but i won't let you know.

30. Favorite color(s)?
i only believe what i want to believe. i guess because i'm greener than green. i came up to the floor, you were dressed a little obscene and you shut me down.

31. Would you be a pirate?
then i thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone? i'm going to be a pirate on the river saskatchewan.

32. Are you wearing socks right now?
it's always the same when you walk in the rain: you walk and complain. your socks have no name so you stop the parade; no more walking today.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
...i'm on fire and now i think i'm ready to bust a move. check it out i'm rocking steady to the beat in my heat.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
last night i swallowed liquor and a lighter, and this morning i threw up fire. but it's nothing new.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
came down on a bottle rocket, found my heart right where i locked it. last night like the rain on chalk - it's gone like the money in my pocket. all my troubles in the rear view mirror, i know, i got to keep them there.

36. Last thing/person that made you laugh?
you aren't the kind of person that i couldn't fall in love with. rather, you are the kind of person that i could. and i'd like to spend an afternoon of laughing at ourselves, and hear all the wonderful things you might tell me.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
at first you think cruella is the devil, but after time has worn away the shock, you come to realize you've seen her kind of eyes watching you from underneath a rock.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
i've learned to hate this place. i want to burn it down and run away. until i see your face, i will loathe this house, i will hate this house. 'cause [this] is where the hurt is. 'cause it's far away from you.

39. Are you doing anything else right now?
do what you want, but i know who you are. say what you want, but i know what you're thinking. go where you want, but i won't be too far. go where you want, and i know where you'll end up.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
one nation under god has turned into one nation under the influence of one drug. television, the drug of the nation, breeding ignorance and feeding radiation.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
you could have done anything, if you wanted. and all your friends and family think that you're lucky.

42. Who is your most silent friend?
now the violence sleeps inside, abandon feeling for just a piece of mind. it's the reason why your teething side frustrates me.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
i think about how it might have been.. we'd spend our days travelin'. it's not that i don't understand you, it's not that i don't want to be with you. but you only wanted me the way you wanted me.

44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
i lay you to rest in my head, stored away to never return. i'll forget everything you left back at home. please know i'm always looking back on our scripted memories.

45. What is your favorite book?
blackbird fly, blackbird fly into the night of the dark black night. blackbird singing in the dead of night. take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life. you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

46. What is your favorite candy?
deny us combos, refuse us skittles. i admit those words hurt a little.

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
i know when i love someone and it's you. oh it's you. why did i choose these mistakes? these mistakes to make.. because it's you. it never changed for me. it will always be...

48. What song do you want played at your funeral...?
but i don't have to make this mistake, and i don't have to stay this way; if only i would wake.

49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
don't try to tell me that my intentions are untrue. my eyes like butterflies, you caught 'em and they're open wide. clouded and hazy future clear whenever i'm with you.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
i hope you are tired out, i know there is joy endowed. but i was asleep. and he woke me up again.